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Deus ex Mantra
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* I will do whatever I want and look damn good doing it.
* Art is life. Not "a hobby" and not just "making a living"
* Do my best? ...or at least /try/.
* Retain sanity.
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Jinnish Business
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You ever want something so wickedly bad but you know you aren't gonna actually get it? I'm sitting here, at one of my school's libraries, hungry and dizzy because I haven't eaten in going 12hrs, and I'm thinking how I want--once again--to fly north. I'm even looking up tickets because it's better to buy them in advance, I think.

But it's not going to happen. It's ridiculous for me to even try to imagine it would. I've been "going to NY" since fucking March.

I was just sitting here, watching the little Expedia plane move when I was suddenly overcome with sadness. And familiarity. I've done this before. Multiple times. Different ways. Same results. I'm still getting "alerts" from Hotwire. And I suppose it would be odd to start crying here.

Perhaps that's what the commissions should be for (should I ever get any). Even talking about it with my sister(s) doesn't make it any more plausible. Or any closer to being realized.

Probably I'm just tired of raising my hopes only to have them destroyed. And pissed on. -sigh-

~~~

In other news, my new water-based media class is going to take a different direction than the one from Spring semester. This one will focus more on acrylic than watercolor. We'll see what that Textiles class is about soon enough. Not even sure what to expect there.

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So help me get to NY. Or help me move out. Either will do, really.